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Villager News/Episode 2 Transcript
Villager #19, #20 and other Villager: *Mumbling villager news theme song* Villager #4: No! You are all mistaken! This is Villager News TWO! You are all fired! Villager #20: I thought it was number one... (Villager #19 and Villager #20 get kicked) Villager #21: *Does puppy eyes and sniffles* Villager #4: Alright, you can stay. Villager #21: Yay! *goes to Villager #4 and purrs* Villager #4: Who’s a good villager? Villager #21: I'm a good villager! Villager #4: Yes you are- Oh! *turns to audience* Today’s news! The winning lottery numbers are out. The winning numbers are: 1, 4, 17, 548, the letter M and a drawing of a dog. I’d like to see who wins that. Lottery Villager: Oh my god I won! I won! I won! I won! Villager #4: Somebody get him out. Security Villager: Get out! *pokes lottery villager* Lottery Villager: Ow! Why would you do- Security Villager: *pokes him again* Get out! Get out now. Lottery Villager: Uh.. uh- Ow! Ok I’m going! Villager #4: A fellow villager has enchanted himself. In my opinion, he’s a witch! He should be burnt. Audience: Your not supposed to have a opinion. Villager #4: Your face isn't supposed to have a opinion! One of our citizens has been reunited with a stack of wood, which was allegedly stolen from him. Villager #21: I don't like this. Villager #4: Hey! And the answer to the age old question, just how does my moustache look? Villager #21: Aaaah! *gets abducted* Villager #4: *looks up at the UFO ray* Breaking News! A citizen has failed to return his library book on time! We’re now going live to Villager #9, who is joining a team of specialists in their pursuit of the stolen book. Villager #9: Thank you Villager #4. As you can see, we’re preparing to breach the premises of the fugitive. *door cracks open* SWAT Villager: We’re in. Move out! Villager #9: We’ll provide you with music from our mouths. *humns suspenseful music* SWAT Villagers: Clear! Clear! Clear! Uh, I think I got something. Move it! Naked Villager: What the!? What’s going on!? SWAT Villagers: It’s not him. Move out! Moving out! Ready? Ready. *breaks down a door* SWAT Villager: I’ve got visuals on 3 violators! This place is crawling with them! Get them! Random Villager: The horse made me do it! Nooo! Horse: *huffs* SWAT Villager: There’s another one. Get him! Villager #12: You’ll never take me alive! *leaves the game* SWAT Villagers: Aww, he got away. Move out! Were any of those the targets? What’s the situation? SWAT Villagers: *tries to open door* It’s locked, I can’t get in. I’m coming! Move out of the way! Take cover! Villager Bomb: Beep. Beep. Beep. Boom. *door falls over* SWAT Villagers: Lets go! The target’s in here! SWAT Villager: *humms Mission Impossible while attempting to stamp the Villager’s book* Random Villager: I thought we were making the music. SWAT Villager: *stamps book* Your book has been stamped. Bath Villager: Thank you! SWAT Villager: Let’s move out! Villager #9: Well, it looks like our work here is done. SWAT Villager: You didn’t do anything! Villager #9: Shut up. Back to you in the studio. Random Villager: Thank you Villager #9! Well, that’s it for this edition of Villager News. Villager #4: Hey, that is my chair! Get out now. Aaaaa! Ah! No! *gets sucked up by the UFO* Random Villager: *Mumbling villager news theme song* Category:Transcripts